Izaya and the Tomatoe
by CrackonKappacumbers
Summary: a Shizuo and the potatoe au and a continued story with Izaya's adventures with tomatoe from the dead. Shizuo's revenge on Izaya with Potatoe. A merman Izaya, a J-walking Walker, Simon and his sushi shop, an evil taco cat Kadota, with potatofied Shinra, horseman Celty and Anri too. Cucumber tea is the best, join kappalord's crack filled story with Izaya and tomatoe- the kappalord c:
1. gods of bukuro

**a Shizou and the potatoe au**

**Izaya was a man of great evilness. But he didn't know that a red fruit stalker was back from the dead.**

**Izaya and the tomatoe**

**a continued story of Shizuo and the potatoe stories c:**

**kappa- no logic is life c: references from different things**

Once there was a man. An evil man.

Who was evil.

He had drawn shoes, his name was Izaya Orihara.

He was really lonely like Rin from free! singing to himself happy birthday. **(Because everyone forgot his birthday :c)**

Weeks later Shizuo got his Potatoe friend that ruin most of Ikebukuro, Izaya lost his tomatoe friend from the ki-buggy. He had gotten out of Seiji, the titanshifter's stomach along with Namie, the sister of the toes-eating man.

**(refer to Shizuo and the potatoe c:)**

But what happened to Tomatoe was that he returned in front of Izaya today when he was walking down the streets of Ikebukuro.

"What? I thought you got eaten by that ki-buggy thing."

"No I didn't, I turned back to life, I am magic."

"Yeah but you got eaten." Izaya logics back, but what can he logic when he himself got eaten by a titan and lived?

"So did you, Im a god so I cannot die." Tomatoe smugly laughed.

Well apperantly, tomatoe was a vegtable/fruit god.

"Oh yeah, ok then, so am I, let's be gods together ne~" Izaya was happy for his loyal tomatoe back at his side.

"Okay. Now lets go steal things c:"

"Yeah, lets go do that and bother Shizu-chan while we're at it." Izaya agreed with a grin, as he locks arms with tomatoe and skips away to steal stuff from 'bukuro and mess with the blone and his potatoe friend.

Until then, a Billy **(refer from MM c:)** came out of nowhere from his can of corn soup, that was chained from the sky. He was sitting on the can while swinging around with the chain holding him up. Music in the background began playing.

"No OMG it's a billy. Go away billy. NO ONE LIKES A BILLY." :c

Izaya didn't like Billys, he shivered and jumped back in disgust. Tomatoe questioned his corn soup can logic being chained by a chain to the sky, looking up at his madness.

"I came in like a cannnn of corrrrn. All I wanted was to brrrreak your waaallls. Alll you ever did was br-breeaak me!"

This Billy was a titan. A singing titan, even worse, Izaya and Tomatoe thought. They forgot their 3D maneuver gear for the upcoming titans that explored Ikebukuro's streets.

The billy continued singing. "I never mean't to start a waaarrr." Billy came crashing into the giant walls on his can of corn soup.

"YES YOU DID." Izaya yelled at him, he knew a Billy would always lie.

Never trust a Billy, that's rule number two, rule number one was mess with Shizu-chan.

"I just wanted you to leettt meee iiinnn" Billy held a wooden stirring spoon and casted a corn spell to let Ikebukuro know he wanted to spread the love of corn syrup. Tomatoe sensed trouble so he grew big wings of freedom to fly in the sky with Izaya for a bit to see what the Billy had done.

"What are you? Kirby?" Izaya asked. "I am not a Kirby! :c he's pink and I'm hot-red" Tomatoe blushed.

'So Tomatoe's a tsudere. Just like Shizu-chan ne, heehee.' Izaya smugly chuckled.

Billy started to pour the left over corn syrup and cream soup, that landed on the roads, all the people had mini screams as they had to run for their lives.

It created a purfume, that attracted the clouds to rain.

The ground also started to grow splash-free! carrot stems that was fabulously green and bouncy from the smell.

It was so strong, the clouds were raining happy-onions.

They also turned green from the stems. "Ahahahahaaha Make us FREE!-the splash, this part's japanese, so I can't sing, yeah c:" they began to fall onto everyone-very happily and people began to cry.

Billy just realized he was deathly allergic to onions, especially happy-ones from the sky. So he cried a lot. His head became very big and it explode with tears from his eyeballs.

Billy formed waterfalls from his eyes. Along with the humans crying on the ground land, it was enough to form a pool of tears, enough for Haru to strip and splash free in these oceans that were forming.

While all this was happening Izaya and Tomatoe watched on a cloud with much confusion.

As he cried water falls, a wild Kyo went to meditate under there and fight bears.

"HEE-YAAAA" Kyo punched a bear that was named Kenai.

They all cried so much, they shrivelled up, and became filled corn syrup jars. Which Izaya didn't logic out of this madness and gave up on that thought as he facepalmed.

No-one picked up the jars because they were Billy's jars that made them cry.

Tomatoe and Izaya thought it was nice being on a cloud, but they had to go back on the ground, so they did.

Then Shizuo appeared paddling down Billys tears coming out of his eyeball down the waterfall, in a canoe. Izaya futhered stare with "wtf" at that sight.

He had Shinra, still as a potatoe with him, paddling with Shizuo. They paddled vertically then back horizontally from they reach the ground, continuing to paddle on the water stream that continued to the land where Izaya was.

Shizuo was a canoe paddling pirate. c:

"Arrrr. Me hartey, we be going to set land ho on that land there yo."

"Aye aye matey." Shinra said, on the other hand not making much progress to paddling, due to his small potatoe size.

He urged to paddle again.

They landed on the grass after splashing in tear water.

Shizuo threw an anchor at a carrot stem.

Shizuo got off, going towards Izaya, with his original friend, Potatoe in his hair.

Sadly, Shinra tripped while getting off making him fall off the boat, and landed in a toilet.

He was a sad little wet potatoe. He didn't understand anything anymore.

**(Shizuo and potatoe vs Izaya and tomatoe ..again c:)**

Shizuo walked up to Izaya with his legs stretched apart. He was still in his pirate talk stage.

"Arrrrr I'm back for revenge. I-za-ya-kunn."

"What? Why?" Izaya looked at him smugly.

" 'Cuz ... you like kidnapped my Potatoe alot a times. And he didn't like that so... you-must-die." Shizuo tries to find a cannon with Potatoe acting as his parrot on his shoulder.

"Noooo~ go away you toggaf-chan." Izaya hissed at him.

"That's not a word ..." Shizuo tried to logic.

"Your not a grammar." Izaya said back with a smirk.

"But-"

"Shut up, Shizu-chan."

"Let's dance then you fleeeaaaa!"

They then had a big fight.

For that no one told Shizuo to shut up.

Billy and the other citizens of Ikebukuro were all now forgotten. c:

"Attackkkk!" Potatoe and tomatoe yelled as Shizuo and Izaya got their weapons.

**(later billy crack got to them and their ooc self came back once again c:)**

Izaya cut off Shizuo's pants.

Potatoe jumped off of Shizuo's hair. It showed his boxers and shaved legs.

Potatoe couldn't resist the legs.

"Omg shaved legs."

Potatoe began to rub against Shizuo's shaved legs.

"Potatoe, not here, you make this very awkward." Shizuo blushed, while being angry at Izaya for his embrassment.

Izaya choked on his laugther as he started snapping pictures on his phone.

When they were making a fuss, Simon appeared from nowhere on his sushi-kappa roll, Kida.

Simon got off Kida, and walked up to them.

"Heeey you stop fighting, it make you hungry."

"Really Simon. Really?" Izaya and Shizuo knew he would say that.

"Oh, wait you are doing violence? I have to destroy that"

Simon tried to punch Shizuo, and Shizuo blocked it with a hand, ending up making Shizuo and Simon wrestle.

Until then, Anri appeared again, with Saika. "You not explode me this time."

Anri tried to cut Izaya, so they had a cut fight.

Izaya pushed her off, and she fell on a car.

It caused her boobs to explode.

Again.

But then, a giraffe came, and started eating a blade's grass.

"Noooo my grass get-a-way you son of a bech :C"

He tried to choke the giraffe, it didn't work and it kicked him off.

"Wait, what the hell are you doing in this story?" Shizuo didn't know who he was at all.

"I'm not sure. I came from the Marioland where old man tried to make Mario eat a bad mushroom who said bye-bye. So, byebye c:"

The unknown person disapeared.

"Ok then.." Simon went back to fight Shizuo.

"Nu mine! :C"

Potatoe tried to get Simon off, but due to his potatoe size, it didn't do anything.

Izaya knew fighting with muscles was not for him, so he went to Eren for his magical powers.

"I can't give you magic, but I can do this."

Eren did a magic-movement and turned Izaya into a mermaid.

"Yes, this will work." Izaya went in front of them and posed "Heeey you badbois~ c;"Izaya winked.

They stared at Izaya's tail and perfect-body, Shizuo nosebleed, Tomatoe wolf whistled while the other two stopped fighting.

And potatoe got to continue rubbing against Shizuo's leg.

All of a sudden they saw Walker, the master walker who walks.

He j-walked.

Then, a cop came and said. "J-WAAALKIINGGGGG" That cop, was Togusa.

"If you scratch my van I'll break your face with my foot." Walker scratched his van.

Togusa tried getting Walker, but since Walker was the master of walking, he walked on rainbow-road in mariocart.

Where only the walking masters could walk on.

Walker arrived, and started to walk around them.

"Why is Walker walking around us." Izaya said

"I dont know. He must just be walking." Shizuo thought he knew about Walker, but he didn't.

But, then.

A magical circle of doom appeared around the gang, which Walker created.

"Oh no! I knew Walker was up to no good-walking." Simon knew Walker had these powers.

The circle became bigger, and started sucking out the souls of them.

"Nyaheaheaheee your souls are mine. the walker will succeed."

Izaya moaned in a bad way, while his soul was being stuck-outta him.

He sounded like he was losing his v-letter.

But it was already taken by Shizuo. **(another story? c:)**

Just then, before they thought their last layer of soul was going to be taken. Kadota-cat came, taking away Walker.

"Noooo why you do that. I was gonna get souls"

"I had to 'cuz you didn't finish your broccoli."

"Aw dammit."

Due to Walker getting away from his circle, the spell was rejected.

"YEAH"

"YEAH"

"YE-AH"

"YEAH!" They all did the "win" elbowing while they all said that.

"Yeah." Potatoe barfed while saying that, because he thought of Izaya and Shizuo making love.

Um, making hate, they hate eachother soo.. but their making-love.

So they making hate.

Simon disagreed with that.

He got onto his Kida, and rode away to somewhere.

Shizuo picked up tomatoe.

"Heey what you doing with tomatoe. :c"

"Remember I came for revenge. Heehehee."

Shizuo got carried away, and threw tomatoe into the sky who flew away and landed somewhere.

"Dammit Shizuo this is all your fault :c"

"Hehehe. Oops." Shizuo felt good, didn't really care.

**Back to tomatoe**

"Really Shizuo. Really."

Tomatoe was unamused, with his butt hurt.

Kadota then picked up tomatoe, and they flew.

"What are you?" Tomatoe was quite amazed by his appearance.

"I am.. batman."

"No, he's actually a tacocat."

"SHUT UP ERIKA YOU RUINED MY COOL PHRASE :C"

"Well, now that your safe, Ima let you go now. Fly tomatoe, fly."

"WAIT I CAN'T FLY." Kadota didn't care because his introduction was ruined.

"Fly, you little flightless fruit c:"

"YOU BASTAAARRDDDD" Tomatoe fell and landed on potatoe.

"AGGH GET OFF ME." Potatoe pushed tomatoe off.

Izaya's face brighten up to see tomatoe was back with him now.

"Yayy, tomatoe's back~"

"Izayya senpaiiii"

They were going to live happy, until, Kadota came back and took Izaya, because he was a mermaid.

He liked mermaid tails.

"Nooo Izaya! we have to save him."

"Yes, lets go save him."

Shizuo wanted to help even though he wanted revenge.

He knows he likes him.

Erika ships that.

"We can't get Kadota on feet so we'll use horse-man power."

"Alright Ima call horse-man." As Shizuo was going to call horse-man, he had an incoming call.

"Yes who is this? who you?"

"Yeah, this is the police."

"Is this really the police?"

"Yeah."

"Well fuck the police."

Shizuo disconnected the call.

Potatoe had a feeling it was actually Kadota.

Shizuo then called horse-woman. In a flash, horse-woman came.

"Oh, hey that was fast. Ok horse-man. We need to get to Kadota, so we need to ride on your jean-horse."

Celty understood, and everyone got onto the jean-rock-thing.

They flew, the jean could also fly, because it flies on magic-dust.

**With Izaya. In Kadota's evil bat man cave.**

"Okay Izaya, now pole-dance. c:"

"Nu, I will only for my tomatoe's green soft bouncy hair."

"Fine, I'll have to burn you in lava then."

"Aw-hellnu."

Kadota slowly lowered him into the lava. Just then, Izaya remembered he had mermaid powers, he unleashed it, landing him safely on the floor.

He shot many beams of green hair magic and destroyed everything.

"Noooo damn you, Izaya. WALKER USE THE WALKING CIRCLE SPELL." Katoda commanded.

Walker didn't do anything, for he knew how powerful the mermaid power can be.

Izaya got out of the cave, while the cave started to look like his taco-cat cave Erika got for him, when he wanted a Batman one.

Izaya's powers disapeared, for they were only temporary. "Ahahaha, now. How do I get back? c:"

**Back to the rest of them.**

"I hope we can go get Izaya now." Tomatoe was impatient without Izaya.

"Yeah yeah. We'll get Izaya sooner or later."

But, then, they found dodo-birds.

And they were going to eat three watermelons.

"Hey my watermelon friends, we have to save them :c" Potatoe said.

"Fine.. One more thing and we'll save Izaya."

Tomatoe wasn't amused with this. They landed, and Potatoe went go talk to them.

"Heey you stop eating my friends you things :c"

"Nu we're trying to survive by eating. Eat or be eaten."

Potatoe didn't care, kicking one of the watermelons from them, it fell off a cliff and died, screaming.

"Whoops."

Potatoe just killed one of his friends, what.

"OH NO! S-SAVE THE MELONS, TAE-KWON DODO'S ATTAACCK!"

Three dodo birds jumped out behind him. "HEEE-YAA HA HUE-HA!"

They all kicked eachother, and knocked over another watermelon.

"Wow, really." Another of Potatoe's friend died.

Potatoe went to get the last melon.

All the dodo birds gasped. "THE LAST MELON..."

They all scurried at Potatoe while Shizuo got the melon. They all tried to get it from him, but he was too tall.

Until a dodo-bird bit Shizuo's ass. He yelled, as the melon fell to potatoe's hands.

They all surrounded him. Potatoe didn't worry and charged away hitting all of them that were in the way, in slow motion.

He was successful getting the melon.

He was so happy he accidently smashed it on the ground. Everyone's smiles turned to frowns and the melon saying "why" :c

"Ahhh potatoe now we did that for nothing. Lets just get to Kadota's more quickly."

Tomatoe facepalmed.

"Whoops." Potatoe just killed all his friends.

They got on the Jean again and flew.

After a while, they finally found the cave, and landed. "Ok, lets find Izaya." They headed into the cave.

"Ok, Kadota give us Izaya and we don't have to-"

"HE'S ALREADY OUT OF THE CAVE, I DONT HAVE HIM, HE RUINED MY CAVE. NOW GET OUT."

"But where is he?"

"Somewhere, he left the cave."

"Wait, what? so he must've been back to where we landed."

Walker came back to where they landed, and began walking around the cave, using the noticeable spell on Izaya. Izaya then appeared to everyone.

"Yay we founds you."

"NOW GET OUT :c BEFORE I FEEL LIKE DESTROYING YOU."

"Ok-okay, let's get out of here guys."

They all got onto the jean-rock shooter thing, and rode, but.. Jean didn't have anymore magic dust, and they fell crashing somewhere.

Apperantly, they crashed where Simona w/ company and kappa lord were.

"Oh, thank god someone came, kappalord kept ordering cucumber tea.." Kappalord was unamused Mikado judged him for his cucumbers.

"Well, now that we're all here. Lets go eat something."

Kappalord ordered a cucumber soup, and began drinking it, smugly.

"Hm hm hm hm."

Izaya, in the mood, decided to twerk, with his hands on his hips. Shizuo's face went red. He bumped into potatoe. Causing him to fly into the cucumber soup that splashed all-over the kappa's face.

Potatoe was fire-llergic to that, so he caught on fire yelling and running.

Kappa lord ran after potatoe since he ruined his soup, Shizuo ran after potatoe to get the fire off him, Simon ran after kappalord that his soup spilled and Izaya ran away from all.

This pretty much went forever and kappalord was getting tired of it.

So, he flew to the sky, over the sun, to use his special happiness-peace-ray from his cucumber-wand.

To spread the calmings of the cucumber.

It shined over, and everyone went calm and happy.

Except for Kadota, since his cave was ruined, and looks like a taco cat.

Kappalord himself wasn't that happy, his soup was knocked over.

He got another one of Russia sushi's coupon atleast.

He was happy he got to use his wand for once.

Later on Shizuo found a new shipping name.

It was Shizutato. c:

And so Izaya and his tomatoe went to walk together as titans romed Ikebukuro again.

Finally, Izaya and his tomatoe lived together happy, watching the city burn c:

"We are gods~ Ahahahahaa!"

**The end c:**


	2. Seiji scene special wut

**BONUS FROM IZAYA AND THE TOMATOE short scene**

**this happened during the adventure to get back Izaya from evil mermaid kidnapping taco cat Kadota.**

**After the dodo scene**

The horse man, was looking for Seiji.

She knew he would travel on air bender feet air. So she can get back her toes.

In a few minutes, they found Seiji flying. "I found you Sayji, I will get my toes back." "No you won't, because I already digested them, they are part of my face now."

"Then I shall destroy you." Horse man got her scythe of doom and cut off his feet air, and Seiji fell on a land.

"Euuuagh.." Seiji fell and was surrounded by eyes of people judging him.

Sayji thought they were mentally disabled, so he tried to explain how he came here.

"Hii how you do. Me Seiji. And me not friends fly fly. In great blue . Horse man. Cut feet air. I go ahhhhhhh. Smash ground. So me Sayji. Emerrge. I only bring happiness and good greeting."

"Is he talking about falling down from his air bending feet?" Said a woman in the crowd.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Sayji found a girl named Namie who Namie fell in love with. So Seiji had to live there for a while.

**THE END C: again**


End file.
